It's been a hectic week, training wise! Wednesday saw a bit of sparring, but rather than the more common 'everyone fight their partner at the same time as others are fighting their partners', it was the whole everyone-but-two-people-sit-down-and-watch kind of fight. I enjoy that more as there's more space to fight and with everyone watching, your faults can be pointed out and advise given that might get missed otherwise.

One green belt sighed heavily when he was told to come up and fight the heavy-handed black tag. Our master told him he'd already lost and to sit down. I felt bad for him, this reaction of being told to sit down had never happened before, but it's true. If you don't believe you can win before you even get on the mat, you won't actually have a chance of winning. It's about mind set. Even if you're unlikely to win, if you go up there with gusto you'll give it your all and might even win.

When it came to my turn I didn't do greatly. Not the worst, but seriously not great. The biggest plus for me was that I didn't get angry or discouraged once throughout the entire lesson. It was all a laugh and to be enjoyed. Even when I got hit in the face. I got advice and learnt. The next day I used this advice and did so, so much better. One of my masters was ridiculously impressed. I even did well in hapkido, something I thought I was much worse at than I actually am! Positivity!

Sunday was squad training and saw us doing a lot of cardio, which I'm fine with. My cardio is very good since I go to the gym all the time and work on it. We did a bit of sparrng, where I was told off for 'playing with my food' and asked at one point 'if I was going to fight today', hehe. The kid was a white belt, I didn't want to annihalate him. As my master was leaving the dojang, he told me 'you're a better fighter than you let on. You've got a lot of potential'. Made me feel so good! Anyway.

Oh man, I didn't even say the best bit, and probably what is currently motivating me! For those fighters among us that win medals at the club, we have a chance of being sponsored to fight in America! So this year, not only 4 Verve tournaments, British championships and Internationals, also the chance to fight in America! So damn cool!

Right, that's last week summed up, gonna gym today I think, and train later. Might write a post, or leave it a few days.

Positivity!

It is shark week, I was right. But aced Monday's not-so-kiddy session and didn't do badly yesterday. Bring on today.

So already I'm going back to my old ways at training. Everything and everyone freaks me out, and I don't 'believe in my myself' and then get incredibly frustrated. Think it might be to do with the fact that it'll be my shark week soon. As in today soon, I reckon.

I admitted to my black stripe friend that I have trust issues on Friday. I don't remember how it came up, but I admitted that his praise doesn't concern me because I don't think it's true. Praise may not be a purposeful lie but it certainly isn't wholly truth. That's one of my issues in brief, it's really a topic for another day. He agreed that I had issues, haha. I'm working on them! ...Just a bit slowly.

My pattern [Won Hyo] has sharpened up a bit. Less nervous when executing it in front of people, etc. Found I can't do pull ups at all. Need more upper arm strength HOOHAH.

What IS good, is that I've been practicing back kicks and spinning kicks up and down the aisles where I work, as drills. Usually when people aren't looking. It's really helped and now I feel so much more confident than before. Like I said, my aim of the year is to be the best at the shit that I'm currently the worst at.

I think that's all I want to say today.

Enjoy your everything!

Last two training sessions were polar opposites. To sum it up, Monday's one hour kiddy class was awesome. Yesterday's adult class was not.

Things I learnt:
-I am bad at being in large classes with black belts because they make me feel crap and I lose any form of self-confidence.
-I can't spin well, it makes me so damn dizzy.
-Started dropping my damn guard again. Constantly getting kicked/punched in the face. UGH.
-I get horribly jealous if a female white belt is told they have 'spirit'. Especially when I'm being punched everywhere.
-Maaaay have the tendency to get incredibly pissed off when fighting if this situation occurs: you back away from your opponent (either for tactical reasons, or because you're being pressured), and someone steps behind you from another pair by accident. Obviously this distracts you as you bump into them/they bump into you. When you turn to look at them/get out of their way, you GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE/KICKED. FUCK YOU, THAT'S UNFAIR PLAY, YOU ASSHOLE. Wait for us both to reset instead of jumping someone. What, can't you win otherwise!?
Getting angry just remembering, because it kept happening with this damn guy I was fighting! He makes me angry easily.
-Patterns are improving. At least this time I got through my pattern without going "uh... which pattern am I doing?" half way through. Eheee.

Basically, lots to improve on. I'm going through a LOT of changes in my personal life atm, so maybe I just got stressed out, maybe not. But I spent this afternoon at work practicing my spins and my back/side kicks so I can improve for class.

I'm going to become the best at using the things I am shittest at. I will jump and spin, goddamnit!

That's pretty much it. I'm tired so this isn't the best entry, but not even mad. Goodnight, internet.

Squad training yesterday morning was pretty cool. I'd been out drinking the night before, so even going was a bonus. But anyway!

The session started with circuit work, which I am not a great fan of. I find myself feeling like an idiot doing it, especially when paired with someone to 'cheer you on' through the stations. Not entirely sure why. Either way, we got through the circuits quite well. Next was some padwork. I wasn't entirely stretched (we'd done a very brief stretch before circuits and hadn't warmed up enough for sure), so I did pull my groin muscles a fair bit when doing head-height kicks. This is a massive issue. If you ever aren't warmed up enough before doing padwork/drills/whatever is on the agenda, be careful! In order to combat the cold muscles, I had my partner start out with the pads much lower than I usually would, and worked my way slowly higher. This way you stretch and improve technique at the same time. Nifty.

We did some more flying kicks (I think this trainer likes to make me suffer), and I didn't do half as well I did the day before. The class size was larger, and I felt more a fool. I did however manage to hit the bag a few times, so at least I have that down! Just need more power, and to overcome putting two feet on the bag. It will be done.

After we'd done that for a while, our trainer gave us a choice. Most of the class went on to do some staff form, and the trainer, two other green belts and I went on to do some conditioning! We did bare knuckle punches to the stomach & ribs, which was fine. I have strong muscles there anyway so it wasn't an issue (my partner appeared to have less strength there, though, and shyed away a bit). We moved on to turning kicks to the ribs, and finally some facial conditioning. I'd like to note that conditioning of the head isn't done much for obvious reasons. Doing it too often, for too long, too hard will eventually cause brain damage.

We donned gloves and basically practiced boxing each other for a while. I found it quite hard at first not to kick, it's pretty automated by this point. My partner and I went on for a while, before we switched up partners. I ended up against the trainer for my last match. The idea behind this sort of conditioning is so that if you are hit in the face during a match, you won't be pressured to the point of not being able to fight or retaliate efficiently. My trainer told me that he expected more from me because he already knew I got stuck in and took the blows and went forward rather than backing off. Darn, means he expects more, hehe.

Footwork is very important, even if you're only using your fists. I've still a long way to go with footwork, but I've improved a lot, and am now focusing more on the footwork. It'll all come as a package, I'm sure, but I want it up to scratch for the next competition. Let's have at it!

Yesterday's lesson was pretty great! We did some drill work (you all stand in lines and practice moves on the master's command), then some patterns (a pattern of movements in a specific order, a different pattern each grade), and then some flying kicks.

The drill work and patterns went as per usual, it was all fine.

The flying kicks! First I need to remind you that I haven't really been able to actually hit the bag when doing flying sidekicks from my right leg. I chicken out. That happened a time or two yesterday... but then I managed to make contact! This sounds ridiculous, as a green belt, to be happy at making contact but it's all good. It's all a mental issue, not wanting to hurt yourself. But this time I managed to get the height of the jump right, high enough to kick, and all I had to do was actually kick. Definitely helped knowing I got the height. I may not currently be able to kick the bag particularly hard, but I am now working on that. Baby steps!

After a few single flying kicks, I was asked to do a double flying kick. I ran at the bag and... kept running. Couldn't bring myself to jump with both legs. In all fairness, having only just figured out how to do the single flying kick, it was impressive I even ran. I will get this. My goal in taekwondo this year is to be able to do double flying sidekicks.

I will do this.

So it's been a while since I last posted! Whoa, two months or so!

I had to switch to running night shifts over Christmas, and as such I couldn't train or go to the gym. I started going to the gym on Christmas Eve, and boy did it feel great! The gym then closed for a while because of the holiday period, so had more off time. Had my first training session last Wednesday, and again, it was amazing! Being off for so long made the sessions all the sweeter.

What I found over the forced rest period, is that I've come back with renewed envigour. And it seems like I've actually gotten a bit better. Taking time off allowed my muscles and psyche to recover a bit, which I think I needed but refused to do. I think it also helped that my night shift was a very physical 8-11 hours a night. I was doing sprints and jumping (don't ask) to improve my cardio. This way I would still be somewhat training (it certainly helped with the stress!).

Since the start of the year I've been changing a lot of things in my personal life, and it seems to have helped me realise how much I want to train and make something of it. I mean, I knew before, but now I know even more! I'm hoping to really ramp it up this year.

It definitely helps that last year I was given a trophy for female fighter of the year 2012, haha. I'm very torn between being so honoured it hurts, and it being almost partly undeserved. See, last year when I started, there was only one other female fighter. She came across from one of our masters' karate class and is a black belt. The other female fighter came across from kickboxing, a blue belt. She started about six months after I did (obviously a much better level than I), but didn't really push herself much and her dad ended up not letting her train anymore sure to certain reasons.

The karate girl only trained a few times, and since the blue belt had to stop going, it almost felt like I was getting the award because I was the only female left who would fight. Having said that, the masters did say I got it because I went up against higher belts all the time, both in and out of competitions, so it shows my vigour. I like that word. Although, even if it is a pity trophy, I was told several times before I received it that I should get the fighter of 2013 because I can definitely beat the current holder if I try hard, haha. I'll try for both male AND female! ...Perhaps.

I think that's enough for catching up, I have some things to talk about from my training yesterday!