I've not had the best week, training wise. A lot of stress got to me, or at least that's the excuse I'm sticking to. I asked N whether he honestly thought I was blue belt level, which lead to a conversation I regret. On Sunday, when we partnered up, I then couldn't take the hits he gave on the bag, which ended up with me walking out of his lesson. I also apologised profusely, because that is such bad ettiquiette I should have been killed.

The point I guess I'm trying to make is that I can't stand to be weak in front of strong people. I told him more than I usually tell people in our conversation, and subsequently freaked out and now can't look him in the eye. It doesn't help that he's so fucking nice and good and wonderful. What a dick, haha. I jest. At some point I'll conquer this, but right now anything I say to him will leave me feeling even weaker and more vulnerable, so I will just move on.

Training has been hard. However, Master K taught me the red stripe pattern, then the red belt pattern, and then the black tag pattern. I have now also mastered Ko Dang (2nd dan black belt pattern). Since I graded to well in my last grading (hah), I am allowed to grade again in the next grading. Usually I'd have to wait 4 months, but this will be 2. That was awesome news, up until Master K also allowed Ramboneses to because of our 'rivalry'. Nothing is mine. Even when I work my ass off, nothing is mine.

I need to work my ass off. Which, consequently, I am doing in gym. I've taken up doing some extra workout in the morning by getting up earlier before work. I gym in my lunch break, speed walk to and from home, and jog/run to training in the evening. On Wednesdays, I do the extra karate class, and on days off my gym session is much longer. Hopefully this will get me to where I need to be.

Right, it's now time to leave for work (hurray...), so we'll see what tonight brings.