Here is a blog post.

So I did training and gym all week. Good stuff. Been looking at working with higher grades recently since I don't push myself enough. Also I always get told to go with higher grades. N said it the other day, haha. Bastard.

On Wednesday we did a complete hapkido lesson, which we haven't done in a while. I partnered with N and Mi, which was cool. I learned a lot more than I usually do with lower and less practiced grades. Also I like working with N because like he cares if I want to slack off, he'll make sure I put effort in! I did notice neither N nor Mi liked throwing me because I'm a girl. This is frustrating, but they need to learn more than me, so okay. I can live with that.

Today during squad, I realised Master K treats me unfairly. Favours me, that is. It's irritating because it's not helpful to me at all. Because I'm female, he seems to think I can't hold the bag when he kicks, and he never uses enough force when demonstrating on me, and doesn't floor me much. I still don't measure up to the guys. Also when I kicked the pad today with a front kick, he sort of folded in two a bit. This man is moved by no one, so it pissed me off. It's a bit patronising. I can see he's not doing it on purpose, but it's not helping me at all. I'm bad at being a woman, and I can't be a man. Bah!

Also I keep getting told I have 'strong legs'. Makes me feel weird. Like they're fat and stuff. Didn't help that I wore leggings and shorts today since it was gonna be a hot squad session and I didn't want to overheat. Showed off my fat, oddly proportioned legs (my calves are bigger than half the guys'. Gah). More cutting and gyming needed!

I think my sparring has improved a bit now I'm encorporating spinning and back kicks into it. There's a blue belt I fought who got hit a fair few times by me, which was cool. I also figured out how to fight this red belt, S, by watching his movements. He seems to like fighting me, but I always feel a step behind, haha.

I'm grading next Sunday. Hopefully to blue tag. I don't feel ready, but I never do, so. Life goes on!