On Monering day, the class got split into belt grades. All blue belts were together as the highest ranking students there, and we had to spin. Fucking spin. Kind of getting better, but I was concerned other people were watching. Bah humbug. Patterns then went on forever. FP next to me had to drop out because of his shoulder, and he got to go do some padwork with a new girl. I was instantly jealous of the padwork, which shows how much we've been doing patterns lately.

After training FP and I met up to do some running. His shoulder came out within 10 minutes, so we stopped running and went to explore instead. We found a bridge we hadn't found before, and the rules are obviously 'bridge = go over it right this second'. We split off from the main path and went into the forest. It was dark, muddy, and fucking hard work. We then got lost. Very lost. So lost that when we back tracked, we still didn't know where we were. After continuing for what seemed like an hour (we didn't take our phone. Gj, guys), we took a new route... and were still lost. Eventually we came across a motorway, in a town very far from where we'd started. We ran back on the motorway, and then had to navigate through our original town (which is hard when you don't go to the outskirts much, not even at night!) all the way back to the car. The excursion cost us 5 or so hours.

Being absolutely knackered was good. The training we got from balancing in the forest, working muscles through the mud and hills, the reflexes from trying not to deck or get hit in the face with plants, it was all intense and fun at the same time. Even if I did almost fall asleep on some logs at one point.

The problem was the next day FP was back in hospital, and it's really my fault. Beforehand, the way I figured it was that because he didn't care about his shoulder, then why should I. I can't stop what he does. However, in Tuesday's lesson, Master K said he was worried about FP. He was trying to run before he could walk, and told the class at another point that seniors are there to help the juniors. I feel this was directed at me for encouraging his behaviour. I mean, sure I can't stop him, but I as his senior, I should be more mindful of what he can/can't do. I then texted him to apologise and it all went downhill. I'm one of the only people who don't treat him like a cripple, and he was angry and upset that I now was treating him as such.

This happens a lot. I break people, I think. I don't mean to, I am a challenging person. My personality is to contest what others do (or completely simper, but that's another thing completely), and offer new opinions and perceptions about things. Sometimes it's good for people, and most times it is not. I should really just become a hermit and not influence anyone ever. Ever.

I'm off to see how FP is doing. I'll kick his injured ass so I can feel better, and probably just abstain from doing things with him outside of training from now on. I know I can't stop encouraging him, so might as well just piss off. We'll see.